I love rewatching movies and shows. The more I rewatch, the more depth I see, understanding of the characters, and details I missed the first time.
If you’re reading this, you will probably need to do that with this quote below…written around 25 years ago but incredibly relevant maybe because we are at peak anxiety in our culture? I wrote about the unique cultural moment we are in here (https://www.seedsandwaterco.org/blog/something-new-is-emerging) . Read the quote below, and spend some time pondering.
“My thesis here is that the climate of contemporary America has become so chronically anxious that our society has gone into an emotional regression that is toxic to well-defined leadership. This regression, despite the plethora of self-help literature and the many well-intentioned human rights movements, is characterized principally by a devaluing and denigration of the well-differentiated self. It has lowered people’s pain thresholds, with the result that comfort is valued over the rewards of facing challenge, symptoms come in fads, and cures go in and out of style like clothing fashions…The anxiety is so deep within the emotional processes of our nation that it is almost as though a neurosis has become nationalized.”, Edwin Friedman
Chronic Anxiety is our national disease.
A well-differentiated self is a concept from Bowen Family Systems Theory that describes a person who is able to maintain their own identity, values, beliefs, and emotions while staying emotionally connected to others—especially in the midst of tension, conflict, or strong relational pressure.
In simpler terms: It’s the ability to be yourself without cutting off from people and stay connected without losing yourself.
In the political climate we live in and 24-hour news cycles, I’ve heard so many stories of families or friends who can’t spend time together anymore because of the fever pitch of political conversation. I wonder how much of this phenomenon is due to so many who struggle with anxiety and not having a well-differentiated self?
I would contend, based on the ethics and actions of Christ, that well-differentiated folks who can channel serious “love my enemy” and “love my neighbor” energy are the silver bullets that can pierce through propaganda.
Some additional “Let’s all take some deep breaths and look in the mirror” thoughts:
American anxiety has lowered people’s pain thresholds. Chronically anxious people are more reactive, quick to anger, and defensive. (A significant issue for me personally)
Being more informed is only increasing our collective anxiety. Turn off the news my friends and take a break from doom scrolling and echo chambers. Try it for a week and see what you feel like emotionally.
The church growth movement is not a healthy movement…it’s an anxious movement. It’s a “herding instinct, characteristic of an anxious society.” (I read this quote somewhere and can’t remember the source). As some of the rivers of religious participation dry up, people herd together in larger groups. In the church growth movement, it creates a false sense of security and revival.
Christian Nationalism - could chronic anxiety be informing this terrible movement of patriarchy, authoritarianism, and legalism? I wonder if it plays a significant part.
We won’t be able to hear the whispering voice of God when we are allowing the storms of anxiety to control our lives. I journaled this yesterday, “Vision replaces anxiety. I’ve noticed it fills the void. When I pull anxiety off of me, I start to imagine possibility and opportunity.” I’m a dreamer and a visionary by nature, and anxiety silences the real me and God’s voice.
What’s anxiety silencing in you?