Facing Reality
One thing I’ve been learning these past few months is that embracing reality is key to healing, both for individuals and communities. Walking with my wife through her cancer battle has shown me that I can’t just white-knuckle my way through by burying my emotions.
I’ve also learned not to downplay the pain. It’s easy to slip into comparison: “I don’t have it as bad as ______.” But that kind of thinking dismisses my real feelings instead of paying attention to them and asking what God might want to show me in the middle of this.
Another thought pattern has surprised me. There’s my pre-cancer life. And now there’s my post-cancer life. Karrie will face treatment for the next 5–10 years. She also carries a gene that makes a future recurrence much more likely. The shadow of cancer will always be near.
I catch myself replaying memories from earlier this year when “life was normal.” Just weeks before her diagnosis, Karrie and I had one of our best trips together. That memory brings joy but also a deep sadness. Right now I’m learning how to live with both—the sweetness of good memories and the ache that comes with them.
Facing Reality Together
On a bigger level, I’ve been noticing patterns in the American Church that concern me. These patterns aren’t brand new, but they seem to be spreading fast. And to be blunt—they’re toxic.
The Church is avoiding reality, minimizing pain, and clinging to nostalgia—the dream that our old faith structures will somehow come back. Many leaders, pastors, and longtime Christians are fueling this. But nostalgia is poison.
Take one example: church participation in America has dropped hard in recent years. Yet the headlines keep shouting that Christianity is booming again. “Gen Z and Millennials are returning to faith!” or “Christian faith is experiencing revival in America!”
Some of examples of articles making the rounds:
Except…IT’S NOT TRUE. Many of the articles and conclusions being shared are based off data from George Barna or perspectives of celebrity pastors. Barna has been criticized for faulty data collection and misleading conclusions. Barna is not a social scientist.
Research from actual social scientists shows otherwise:
Graphs About Religion - “Generation Z is the least religious generation in American history.”
Ryan Burge Podcast - listen to this episode if you want to know more
Rather than face reality, Christians who have held cultural and positional power within the American Church are ignoring reality, minimizing pain, and misinterpreting data or even twisting it to reflect revival (nostalgia).
Nostalgia is a death sentence to any healthy movement.
What the Church Needs to Do
Repent. We need to name what caused this reality (it’s a long list). Too often leaders blame those leaving instead of looking in the mirror.
Meet people in their pain. This is what Jesus did in John 8. Helpful movements are igniting:
Trauma-informed counseling and care
Less focus on rigid doctrine, more on following Jesus
Starting healthier communities: The V3 Movement
Stop living in the past or manipulating the present. Maybe it’s nostalgia, maybe it’s optimism, or maybe it’s more manipulative? As Brad Brisco says: “When it comes to acquiring or maintaining power, truth and integrity are the first things to be sacrificed.” Many Christians want revival, but what they’re really chasing is cultural and political power. That’s sinful and it’s a losing battle.
And when it comes to research, trust scholars with PhDs in the social sciences, not evangelical darlings or celebrity pastors with platforms to protect.
Hope Beyond Nostalgia
We’re living in a major shift in faith in America and it’s good news! Yeah, it can be painful, but hope is alive. A fresh movement is rising—one that’s freeing, faithful, and rooted in history. It centers on Christ without the baggage of legalism, politics, or toxic leadership.
We’re casting off what’s dead and rediscovering “The Way” of Jesus. I’ve shared this quote before and it’s a good reminder for such a time as this:
Renowned Religion author Phyllis Tickle wrote of how moments such as this strategically propel the church forward,
She calls these moments “era-ending” transitions. They are defining moments where God begins the process of initiating new beginnings, and a next chapter for the Church. When these times of upheaval happen, history shows us that there are always at least three results. First, a new, more vital form of Christianity does indeed emerge. Second, the organized expression of Christianity which up until then had been the dominant one is reconstituted into a more pure and less ossified expression of its former self. The third result is of equal, if not greater, significance... every time the incrustations of an overly established Christianity have been broken open, the faith has spread—and been spread—dramatically into new geographic and demographic areas, thereby increasing exponentially the range and depth of Christianity’s reach, as a result of its time of unease and distress.